This is a personal reflection of all the troubles in Lebanon from one of our partners in Beirut. It gives the reality behind the news headlines about life during these difficult days.
HOW I FEEL
Today is a new day. I get myself ready to go to the Triumphant Mercy community center but know I may have to spend more than an hour looking for a gas station that is open so I can put 10 liters of gas in my car. 10 liters are only sufficient for one or 2 days of car rides.
I drive down and see cues of cars stopped in front of gas station waiting. It is hot, the sun is shining, the air is moist, the exhaust gas fills the air and people’s faces are somber. Some have been waiting since 5 am for the gas station to open and stations are not scheduled to open before 7 am. Some people come with their coffee thermos and plastic cups, even with few foldable chairs and have a man’s coffee time in front of the station
My daily decision is: Should I get in the cue or should I try my luck on another station with maybe a shorter cue. Today I decided not to wait as I have ladies waiting for me at the community center for a coaching time. The fuel light is lit in my car and I know I have enough to get back home but not enough for tomorrow. But then again, let everyday worry about itself, right?
Today is a new day. I get myself ready to go to the Triumphant Mercy community center but know I may have to spend more than an hour looking for a gas station that is open so I can put 10 liters of gas in my car. 10 liters are only sufficient for one or 2 days of car rides.
I drive down and see cues of cars stopped in front of gas station waiting. It is hot, the sun is shining, the air is moist, the exhaust gas fills the air and people’s faces are somber. Some have been waiting since 5 am for the gas station to open and stations are not scheduled to open before 7 am. Some people come with their coffee thermos and plastic cups, even with few foldable chairs and have a man’s coffee time in front of the station
My daily decision is: Should I get in the cue or should I try my luck on another station with maybe a shorter cue. Today I decided not to wait as I have ladies waiting for me at the community center for a coaching time. The fuel light is lit in my car and I know I have enough to get back home but not enough for tomorrow. But then again, let everyday worry about itself, right?
Lebanon has been rationing electricity for more than 45 years (since the civil war) and people depend heavily on generators to fill the gap that the government is leaving. However, with the fuel crisis, generator owners are not able to secure diesel and have also to ration the power.
I feel ANGRY with the government, angry because of the way we, the people are HUMILIATED at gas stations.
Then I hear the news that fuel smugglers were protesting against an effort by the Lebanese government to curb fuel smuggling into Syria.
And I felt UNBELIEF and BEWILDERMENT. How can the smuggling cartel have the nerves to come out in the open with impunity? Smuggling subsidized fuel and leaving your own countrymen without it is beyond my comprehension. I feel DISGUSTED!
So many implications to the power cuts due to lack of fuel. Some elderly will be stuck at home because they can’t go up and down the stairs, all the students who study online will not be able to keep studying, people who work from home will not be able to work online. Some shops will not be able to open their doors. Manufacturing companies will not be able to keep working, traffic lights have stopped working, even hospitals have started to warn that without fuel they cannot keep respirators working. Yesterday a government facility had to close its doors because of lack of fuel for their generator.
I feel ANGRY with the government, angry because of the way we, the people are HUMILIATED at gas stations.
Then I hear the news that fuel smugglers were protesting against an effort by the Lebanese government to curb fuel smuggling into Syria.
And I felt UNBELIEF and BEWILDERMENT. How can the smuggling cartel have the nerves to come out in the open with impunity? Smuggling subsidized fuel and leaving your own countrymen without it is beyond my comprehension. I feel DISGUSTED!
So many implications to the power cuts due to lack of fuel. Some elderly will be stuck at home because they can’t go up and down the stairs, all the students who study online will not be able to keep studying, people who work from home will not be able to work online. Some shops will not be able to open their doors. Manufacturing companies will not be able to keep working, traffic lights have stopped working, even hospitals have started to warn that without fuel they cannot keep respirators working. Yesterday a government facility had to close its doors because of lack of fuel for their generator.
Finally, I get to the community center after working my way past the cues on every gas station. I had a great session with women talking about life’s purpose and God’s faithfulness while my team is busy preparing for the summer camp that is starting next week. I Feel I MAKE A DIFFERENCE and this brings meSATISFACTION . Suddenly the generator providing us with electricity is turned off. No more electricity, no more internet, no more A/C. I shrug my shoulders with a DEEP SIGH. The work in the center now is just focused on logistics, planning what we will do with kids during camp when there is no more electricity. Our center has 2 underground levels with no windows and we heavily depend on electricity for light and ventilation.
We have a meeting with the generator provider trying to negotiate a schedule. And we make plan B and plan C for every surprise we might encounter.
Later during the day we have a food distribution and beneficiaries that we had contacted to come start to flood the place. We asked them to come in the early afternoon because of the traffic jam caused by a gas station across from our center. My heart is filled with THANKSGIVING that God is using people like us to bring some relief to so many. A person after another comes to the distribution table and is greeted with a smile. And we receive a smile back. People say things like : “you have not forgotten us”, “you’re the only ones who are catering to our needs, the government is letting us down. Without you I would not be able to feed my children, etc… “
And then many others come to ask us to register them for another distribution day. The World bank Group has estimated that now nearly 50 % of Lebanese citizen’s live below the poverty line and that the country is on the verge of bankruptcy.
I feel GRATITUDE that we are able to help some but also am OVERWHELMED with the enormity of the crisis. The prices of goods in the market are soaring high because of the collapse of the Lebanese pound to the dollar. It has lost 85% of its purchasing power and there is no sign of it slowing down.
People who are still working get now between $50 to $100/ month as a salary and are not able to meet their basic needs. People feel DESPAIR.
The money people had at the bank has been frozen by the government and people can’t access it. Many who do have money at the bank are reduced to ask for assistance as they are only allowed to retrieve a very small amount at 20% of its value. So people are losing the fruit of their life labor. The unemployment rate has quadrupled . It is now over 40% . The general atmosphere is that of HOPELESSNESS and RAGE
How do I feel?
I really don’t know! Everyday I go through all the spectrum of emotions and I am just glad that I have a solid rock to stand upon in this stormy season. I am filled with a RIGHTEOUS ANGER, but I have the PEACE that transcends all understanding, I have a HOPE that never fails and an ASSURANCE that my God is still sitting on the throne.
Please join us in praying for Lebanon
It is going through a long dark tunnel spiraling downwards
It is going through a long dark tunnel spiraling downwards